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Old 5th Sep 2002, 20:14   #1
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Kelt rejoins the battle! :)

Hello all! Me is back. Below you will find a recap of what I’ve been up to during my absence from the boards. There is a lot to tell so I’ll be posting it as I write it up over the next few days. The long and the short of it all is that I’ve had a very busy life over the past 9 months and that I have missed you all greatly! I’m glad to be back!

Where oh where has Mr. Kelt been? That my friends is a rather amusing tale filled with drama, intrigue, tears, and laughter. Well, nothing so grandiose really, but amusing none the less. First off, as some of you may be aware, I graduated from College. Yuppers, ‘lil ‘ol me now has a BA in Mathematics from Pomona College. I somehow survived four years of academic toil in sunny Southern California – oh wait, it wasn’t really that rough was it? Senior year was ballistically fun. From playing Ultimate Frisbee at almost every chance I could get, to taking some fantastically wonderful classes such as Human Sexuality and Anarchy of the Internet (yes, that is a real class), I had the time of my life. The euphoria of Pomona came crashing to a halt midway through June when all graduated seniors were very rudely ejected from the premises. Okay, not that rudely, but you’ve never seen a moving van packed so quickly. After four years of college living I had accumulated enough stuff (am I American or what?) that I needed a small moving van to move it all back home with me to Massachusetts.

Two of my college buddies, 6 days, 7 nights, 3900 miles of driving. Lots of camping along the way and enough Denny’s to last me until the end of eternity. One point of major torture – the truck had no tape player, which meant I had to listen to the radio for the entire cross-country journey on I-40. I knew I had reached a new high when all there was to listen to was a fire and brimstone sermon and Howard Stern. No accidents along the way, no speeding tickets either, so I can’t really complain.  We didn’t have a chance to stay in any one place for too long, but all the camping made for some awesome scenery. Sidenote: anyone remember that piece of I-40 that fell into a river after getting hit by a barge? We drove over that the day before it went down. So I reached Mass in late June with 3 weeks of free time until my job began.....

For those of you that remember summer vacations, especially those when you’re of college age, you’ll remember the simple immutable fact that almost no one is around when you are. Or maybe one person is around if you’re lucky. I wasn’t that lucky – there was no one around. I entertained myself by playing ‘cool-older-brother’ to my 16 year old, oh-so-popular-in-the-ways-I-wasn’t younger bro. This entailed chilling with the owner of the house the post-prom party was taking place in for over 2 hours while my bro finished getting the ya-yas out of his system. I think this entailed multiple Heinekins and/or Natty Ice (Oo, now there’s quality). After a week of events like this and seeing every movie that was out in the theatre, I had an idea. How could I forget this? I have a friend from school who lives in the Bahamas who had always said I was welcome to stay with the family if I could ever make it down to the island. After battling with inter-island air travel plans, less than 24 hours later I was on a flight to Cat Island.

Cat Island is one of the larger Bahaman islands, and one of the least populated. To put it simply in American vernacular, it’s freakin’ paradise. I really had no clue what I was getting into, and wow was I blown away. I spent a week living in a beach house about 30 feet from the sand. My days entailed waking up whenever, rolling down to the white sand beaches and spending the morning jet skiing in the crystal blue waters. This was usually followed by some sort of tech job working on the Ethernet system running through 3 of the beach houses that was connected to the outside world by a Satellite connection. So not only am I on a tropical island, I have some serious computer hardware to toy with. (Yes, me is geek, me knows this.) Anyhoot… I only had a week on the island because I had to make it back to the states for my second surgery of the year….yes, 2002 was the year I broke myself.

First, lemme start by saying that up until this year I had never broken any bones and had stitches once. Well, earlier this year I had a cyst drilled out of my jaw. Turned out the cyst was induced by me landing on my face after getting flipped over a guys head while playing Ultimate Frisbee. The surgery also resulted in them having to take out one of my molars, which I get a nice sexy titanium based replacement for later this year after the bone finishes growing back. Just the jaw injury would have been fine with me, but I had to go onto break not only my left wrist, but my right wrist as well. I managed to snap both scaphoids in half. This is the surgery I had to get back to the states for… bilateral wrist surgery. Every medical personnel person thought it was at least hilarious. I could just see the laughter bubbling up behind their eyes every time they saw me. In one medical office they actually started referring to me as ‘the wrist boy’. I would have complained but I thought it was funny too. So, because the bones weren’t healing, titanium pins were drilled length-wise through the bone, to hold it in place. I am now part titanium, not only in my wrists, but soon in my jaw as well. Nope, as far as I know I don’t set off metal detectors. And just ‘cause I know you’re dying to know, I broke one wrist rollerblading, and the other playing Ultimate Frisbee. Yes, two different times. Now, if anyone tells you Ultimate is a whimpy sport, tell them about some guy you know who destroyed himself playing it.

Upcoming in the next edition:

 Life with no thumbs!
 Summer fun with 312983102983012983 8th and 9th graders
 Moving to Northern Vermont

Once again, I'm really happy to be back

Last edited by kelt : 5th Sep 2002 at 20:21.
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Old 5th Sep 2002, 20:21   #2
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Welcome back

Sounds like you had a great time
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Old 5th Sep 2002, 20:23   #3
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Wow, Kelt. I don't know you, I don't think we've ever spoken to each other, but
I really enjoyed reading about your adventures

I hope the surgery went/goes well

Are you going to be a math teacher in Vermont?
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Old 5th Sep 2002, 20:24   #4
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I had one freakin' hell of a time DA

And for some real excitement, brace yourself for the upcoming adult-version writeup of my senior year.

MyTBaBoo: Nope, we haven't met before. Glad to meet you! And to answer your question, yuppers, I'm a High School math teacher. I'm in the middle of my second week of teaching. The I'm-a-new-teacher stories will be included in my next writeup

Last edited by kelt : 5th Sep 2002 at 20:28.
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Old 5th Sep 2002, 21:22   #5
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Welcome back Kelt!!!! Glad you survived!! The wrist thing sounds painful

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Old 5th Sep 2002, 23:46   #6
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Josh I'm glad you got settled after your move. I know how demanding a cross country move can be, though mine north/south move was not as far as your west/east one. Sorry to hear about the wrists. Hopefully your surgeries went well. It's good to see you back.
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Old 6th Sep 2002, 00:38   #7
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Welcome back Josh!

Glad to see you survived the treatments for your jaw and scaphoids!

Its good to know that you dont set off any metal detectors. Imagining someone getting piled on by 20 airport security guards while they try to hack your arms off to search for hidden weapons is a damn funny thought but I would hate to be that person if it happened in real life

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Old 6th Sep 2002, 00:45   #8
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Welcome back ! I'm dying to hear what happens next.
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Old 6th Sep 2002, 07:50   #9
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Welcome back, kelt!

That really sounds like a super summer for you, but if you continue writing in that style, people may think you're on drugs . So, keep on .

BTW, your location is wrong .

~ J ~
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Old 6th Sep 2002, 09:00   #10
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Great you're back!

So I'm waiting for the sequel to your story...

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Old 6th Sep 2002, 09:09   #11
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Sonds like you had a good time.

Welcome back
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Old 6th Sep 2002, 12:17   #12
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I've already said it privately but here's a big public

Welcome back Josh!!

First of all, I hate you. For that Bahama thing... Hate hate hate you.

Second, wrist boy.... here's a thing I've been meaning to ask you for a long time. WTF is Ultimate Frisbee? I've never heard anyone else in the entire world refer to it, besides you.

And third... is it just the way I'm reading it, or is playing 'cool-older-brother' yo a younger brother who is actually much coller than you a contradiction in terms?

Looking forward to the next installment!
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Old 6th Sep 2002, 13:42   #13
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Welcome back kelt and congratulations on your BA!!

I can't wait to hear the rest of your story... Especially the part with the 312983102983012983 8th and 9th graders!
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Old 6th Sep 2002, 14:08   #14
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Ice: And oh man do I have stories about the hoards of 8th and 9th graders. I'm in the process of writing some of the many stories up now.

Lynn: I hated myself for having to leave the Bahamas. I was kicking myself even harder when I was offered a job to work on the island doing tech work and I had to say no cause my parents would have killed me, quite literally if I had missed my surgery. Although my father would have understood slightly... I mean, after all, sailing around in the Bahamas would score a few points from him.

Janus: Me? On drugs?

martyn: I'm going to try walking into the court house later today. I'll let you know how it goes -- see if they really do try and hack off my arms. "Yes officers, I broke BOTH wrists"

chetta: The surgeries have gone well so far, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed. Just gotta have a titanium post drilled into my jaw....

I should get the rest of the story up later this evening. Until then duty calls, i.e. 3 classes of Algebra II standard. Oh, and my super-duper favorite.... faculty meetings!
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Old 9th Sep 2002, 17:06   #15
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So, the surgery ended up being less than an hour but resulted in my wrists being bandaged like they were on the verge of falling off. With these massive bandages on, I drove out to Wellesley to start work at a summer program for 8th and 9th graders…. not quite 312983102983012983 but 650 none the less. I acted as their net admin as well as Web Design teacher. Lots of fun on both ends really, it just took me a while to adjust to their primarily Mac network. After 2 months of working on primarily Macs, I must say there are many things about them that I like… and some that I hate with a burning passion of a thousand suns. 450 of the kids were boarders so this meant that I was living on a hall with 8th and 9th graders. OH, the excitement. For the most part the kids behaved themselves wonderfully. Then there were incidents like the 9th grader who was caught not only with some pot…. 3ozs actually, but a grinder and vaporizer as well. Honest to god he told our dean that it was for medicinal purposes. The kicker is that when he was on the phone telling his parents that he was coming home…. he wasn’t apologizing for getting caught, he was apologizing for not leaving his ‘stuff’ at home. I think something like 30% of our time was taken up making sure the kids weren’t having sex, or anything remotely close to it. I did get to go on lots of wicked cool (yes, I’m from the east coast) trips, and I did have a blast, also, it was a great transition job to work at a Private Boarding school!

So Explo ends. I drive home to Western MA one morning. Unpack, pack up some more stuff for a friend, drive it back to Wellesley the same day, drive down to the Tweeter Center to see the Goo Goo Dolls and Third Eye Blind, and then drive back to Western MA. I also killed myself on the road driving home 3 times. Yah yah, I should have pulled over more… I going to claim stupid American here. I’m at home for 1.5 days, then I pack up all my stuff again and drive up to Northern Vermont to start training for work here at the Academy.

Worry: Being very young. Actuality: I’m the youngest one on a staff of 127.

Worry: Being isolated. Actuality: I’m in the middle of no where with a car that currently won’t start.

Worry: What’s the staff like? Actuality: They are really awesome.

Worry: What’s my apartment like? Actuality: Larger than anything I’ve lived in in the past 4 years.

Soo…. I’m currently teaching 3 classes of Algebra II. In general the kids are wonderful. It’s a private school with a very diverse student population so I have all sorts of kids in my classes. No fights, no major issues thus far. I live in a dorm with 36 male students from all over the world. My biggest issue so far has been remembering which greeting to say to each kid. The worst thing I’ve done so far is say Konichiwa to a Korean kid. Dorm life is a little wild, but it’s about a million times less dramatic than college so the stress level is pretty low. I’m now in my third week and cruising along… wish me luck everyone! 

As for the wrists, they are doing much better. No major wrist pain anymore and things feel like they are healing. The last time I was at the doc’s, the x-rays came back showing the bone was healing, so… another month at least with these freaking wrist braces on… and I’m done with ‘em. Yah, that’s right, I have these sexy wrist braces on that make me look like bionic man. The real draw back is that they completely immobilize my thumbs. I’ve gotten quite good at almost everything one would do in a normal day using only 4 fingers. My manual dexterity was rather good before 2 months of no thumbs…. now it’s even better. As a fellow staff member told me, I’ll be able to make a woman very happy one day.

So life continues to be well from my end of things. The freakin cable guys are being a bitch about set up times so I still don’t have a net connection in my apartment – very frustrating indeed. but one day very soon I’ll have my first paid for net connection in 4 years. (Yes, I consider my college net connection free – there is no way roughly 10TB of traffic was factored into my tuition).

Hope all is well with everyone who is out and about -- lookin' forward to catching up with everyone.
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